emerging from (and embracing) the shadows.

My life was greeted with a lot of change in 2013. My three legged stool – work, romance and home – was wobbly, at best, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed with a few nails.

I moved twice in less than one year. The first time, due to a relationship ending; the second time because I found a new nest, where I am much more at peace.

Shortly after the first move, I remember sitting on my futon confiding in a blogger friend, sharing my insecurities about continuing this blog without the well-equipped kitchen and naturally lit home I’d become accustomed to documenting in. I’d gone from harvesting organic edibles and hosting dinner parties to sustaining on frozen pizzas in a boxy apartment I cohabited with what seemed like South Florida’s lizard population. Shamefully, I ignored this blog, attempting not to address my fears and failures.

Slowly, though, I am coming to accept that part of living a creative life is not being bound by my mistakes; but rather about letting go of them, learning from them and embracing them – and myself – with kindness and grace.

I’m passionate about so many of my hobbies – pottery, cooking, decorating, gardening, etc. – and it’s fun to share them with others, which is what keeps me coming back to a platform like this.

The last apartment where I lived (the one with the lizards) was built in the ‘40s and had art deco style lines that I admired. Late one night, after everyone had gone to bed, I stayed awake in a bittersweet haze. Wandering around the builiding, I photographed aspects I was fond of – patterns, typography and shapes – without a flash or a tripod. I felt the sloppy shots were reminiscent of the four and a half years I’d rented the unit – blurry, but with hints of beauty.

Inspired by the night’s colors, textures and shadows, the images were the catalyst for a painting I started that night.

On the morning of the move, I awoke with the sun and sat on the pool deck with the half-painted canvas and traced in the lines and shapes I saw on the art deco railings throughout the building. Precision in my artwork is something I avoid, but I tried this time and finally completed it recently (even though it’s been three months since I moved). I’m not sure that I even like the painting, or if it’s truly finished, but I’m ready to come out of the shadows of my old life. In many ways, I’ve found closure in this piece.

I’m really excited about returning to MMM and look forward to sharing some of my projects, their imperfections and all. Cheers to another year of challenge, growth and finding beauty along the way.

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This entry was published on January 7, 2014 at 3:07 am. It’s filed under about these messes., making a mess in the studio., Mere makes a nest. and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

3 thoughts on “emerging from (and embracing) the shadows.

  1. eugenia cass on said:

    love you – i have no doubt you will embrace 2014, let your freak flag fly! mil besos

  2. Your courage inspires me dear Meredith. A work of beauty. I agree with the line above, “your writing sings”.

  3. The visual art and your writing sing!

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